gen_who ([info]gen_who) wrote in [info]tennant_love,
2007-03-20 13:43:00
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  • Location: The TARDIS
  • Mood: chipper
  • Music: David Tennant and Catherine Tate on Comic Relief

Comic Relief Transcript Complete

Well here it is. Thanks to everyone who help me out before and thanks to 

[info]teskafuture for letting me compair my transcrpit with hers.
it's not exactly perfect. It gets confusing when they are talking over each other, but you get the idea.
Enjoy!
XX

 

 

Lauren Cooper (Catherine Tate)

Mr. Logan (David Tennant)

 

(Lauren and Lise are sitting in a classroom)

 

Lise-I can’t believe we’ve got double English.

Lauren- English is well dry

Lise- I don’t see what so great about reading anyways

Lauren- No, readings for loooosers.

Lise- Innit though. A’least we got a new teacher today

Lauren- yeah, right, that’ll be a laugh won’it

 

(Enter Mr. Logan/David Tennant)

 

Mr. Logan- Morning.

All- Allllright

Mr. Logan- As I’m sure you’re aware my name is Mr. Logan, I’m your new English teacher. Nice to meet you all. Hope you’re all ready to get to grips with some Elizabethan literature. Let all turn to page fifty three, in our poetry text books. I think we’ll dive straight in with the bard himself.

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- Yeah

Lauren- Are you English, sir?

Mr. Logan- No, I’m Scottish.

Lauren- So you ain’t English then.

Mr. Logan- No, I’m British.

Lauren- So you ain’t English then.

Mr. Logan- No I’m not but as you can see I do speak English.

Lauren- But I can’t understand what your saying, sir.

Mr. Logan- Well clearly you can.

Lauren- Sorry, are you talking Scottish now?

Mr. Logan- No, I’m talking English.

Lauren- Right. Don’t sound like it.

Mr. Logan- Okay, whatever you want. Now, let’s get on with Shakespeare.

Lauren- I don’t think you’re qualified to teach us English.

Mr. Logan- I am perfectly qualified to teach you English.

Lauren- I don’t fink you are though.

Mr. Logan- You don’t have to be English to teach it.

Lauren- Right, have we got double English, or double Scottish?

Mr. Logan- Is your name Lauren Cooper by any chance?

Lauren- Yeah. Why?

Mr. Logan- Your reputation precedes you.

Lauren- Innit though.

Mr. Logan- So, Shakespeare’s sonnets--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- A sonnet is a poem--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --written in fourteen--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --lines--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- -- the last two of which--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --must form a rhyming couplet--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- Yes Lauren!

Lauren- Can I aks you a question?

Mr. Logan- Not just now.

Lauren- Can I aks you a question now?

Mr. Logan- Just wait.

Lauren- But can I just aks you a question? I only want to aks you a question. Can’t I aks you a question? I’m just aksing you a question. Can’t I aks you a question?

Mr. Logan- What is it?

Lauren- Are you the Doctor?

Mr. Logan- Doctor Who?

Lise & Lauren- It is you!

 

(All laugh)

 

Mr. Logan I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lauren- You look like Doctor Who though!

Mr. Logan I’m not Doctor Who, I’m your English teacher.

Lauren- I don’t think you are though.

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- I think you’re a nine hundred and forty five year old Time Lord.

Mr. Logan- Listen.

Lauren- Did you just pitch up from Mars?

Mr. Logan- Don’t be ridiculous. 

Lauren- You know your house, right.

Mr. Logan- What?

Lauren- You know your house?

Mr. Logan- Yeah.

Lauren- Is it bigger on the inside?

Mr. Logan- Be quiet.

Lauren- Have you parked the TARDIS on a meter?

Mr. Logan- Can we please get back to Shakespeare!

Lauren- *fhuh* (sits back into chair)

Mr. Logan- Thank you. So--

Lauren- Do you fancy Billie Piper sir?

Mr. Logan- Right. (stands up) You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach!

Lauren- Thank you.

Mr. Logan- You’re pointless, repetitious and extremely dull.

Lauren- A bit like Shakespeare.

Mr. Logan- You’re not even worthy to mention his name, William Shakes -- William Shakespeare was a genius, you, little madam are definitely not. Now just sit there and keep your mouth shut or I will fail you in this whole module right now!

Lauren- *fhuh* Ammist I bovvered? Ammist I bovvered forsooth?

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- Looketh at my face.

Mr. Logan- I don’t--

Lauren- Looketh at my face.

Mr. Logan- Stop it.

Lauren- Is this a bovvered face thou see before thee?

Mr. Logan- Right, I’m calling your parents.

Lauren- Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?! Are thou calling my mother a pox ridden wench?

Mr. Logan- Enough.

Lauren- Are thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple.

Mr. Logan- Listen to me.

Lauren- But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple, though.

Mr. Logan- That’s enough.

Lauren- Face, is –

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- --bovvered--

Mr. Logan- Lauren, enough.

Lauren- --Look at it--

Mr. Logan- Enough

Lauren- --Look at it--

Mr. Logan- --Stop, that’s it--

Lauren- But my liege--

Mr. Logan- -- No, stop--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- --Shh, enough--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- -- No--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- --Enough--

Lauren- --Bovverd, face, this, bovvered--

Mr. Logan- --Lauren--

Lauren- *Scottish accent* You take the high road and I’ll take the low.  *normal voice* I ain’t even bovvered. I ain’t bovvered. Look, face, bovvered, bovvered, face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered. My liege, I be not bovvered forsooth, I be not bovvered. Face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered, face, bovvered, Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain’t even bovvered.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun,
Coral is far more red than her lips' red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfurmes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go:
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

(Bangs desk) Bite me, alien boy!

Mr. Logan- (pulls out sonic screwdriver and uses it on Lauren, who turns into Rose Tyler action figure) That’s better. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Lauren/Rose Tyler action figure- I still ain’t bovvered.

 

------------

 

 For those who want to know the sonnet that Lauren quotes is Sonnet 130


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[info]sideways

March 20 2007, 03:09:36 UTC 5 years ago

Yay! Thanks for this, but...

Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?! Are thou calling my mother a pox ridden wrench?

I thought that she had said, wench. Well, usually it would be wench; unless they're saying wrench for some kind of amusing reason. :P

[info]gen_who

March 20 2007, 03:45:46 UTC 5 years ago

oops. your right. i'll just go change it! hee hee

[info]blaidd_wolf

March 20 2007, 03:55:05 UTC 5 years ago

Hahahaha! Oh man, just reading the transcript made me laugh several times. XD *goes to watch again*
Thanks for transcribing!

[info]luxurias_slave

March 20 2007, 04:13:55 UTC 5 years ago

what does bovvered mean? having some trouble between canadian and british english here

[info]gen_who

March 20 2007, 04:25:56 UTC 5 years ago

'bovvered' is just 'bothered', i wrote it like that cause thats what is sounds like with her accent.

[info]englishmann

5 years ago

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[info]aces_are_rare

4 years ago

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[info]gen_who

4 years ago

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[info]diapadme

March 20 2007, 05:27:30 UTC 5 years ago

ooh thank you so much <3 I'll learn this by heart^^ thanks

[info]jivefish

March 20 2007, 05:29:36 UTC 5 years ago


I was watching this & I flipped cause we just read that particular sonnet a couple of weeks ago in my British Lit class, so I think I'm gonna have to send this to my teacher! =D

& it is bovvered, it means something along the lines of 'I don't care'...or something like that. I think.

[info]sevenjetc

March 20 2007, 09:16:44 UTC 5 years ago

I could ask our English Literature teacher what it means. I know he translated all of Shakespeare's sonnets...so he must have experience with weird forms of English...

[info]tijsmans

March 20 2007, 08:56:48 UTC 5 years ago

Just one last little mistake: I think Lauren says "Have you parked the TARDIS on a meter", instead of "Have you park the TARDIS on the metre". It's hard to hear of course, with her accent and all, and maybe it's just me disliking sentences that don't sound grammatical, but I checked with the sketch and I keep hearing my alternative.

Great job! I wouldn't have found everything, I wouldn't have been able to transcript the whole scene. Especially when she starts speaking Shakespearean (which is why, I think, bothered sounds like bovvered, you're absolutely right about that). And just so you'd know, I'm adding this to my memories. Just so I can find it any time I like.

[info]gen_who

March 20 2007, 09:38:21 UTC 5 years ago

thanks!!! it's hard to pick up on her accent sometimes. but i trust that your right and pill just go change it.

[info]englishmann

5 years ago

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[info]uliamos

March 20 2007, 09:06:06 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you soooo much - you did a brilliant job.

[info]gen_who

March 20 2007, 09:47:59 UTC 5 years ago

oh, thank you!

and about the whole 'bovvered' thing, i saw another Lauren sketch (the cheerleader one) and she spells it like that too:

Gimme a 'B' gimme a 'O' gimmie a 'V' gimme another 'V' etc

it's a funny one so go take a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mF9A-BlLko&mode=related&search=

[info]bluevolvic

March 20 2007, 11:44:05 UTC 5 years ago

Brilliant! thaks for writting it out :), i was laughing my head off just reading it .

[info]englishmann

March 20 2007, 13:08:03 UTC 5 years ago

Well done.

[info]absdax

March 20 2007, 14:15:37 UTC 5 years ago

heheh! Fantastic! thanks! this is fab! i lost count of how many times i now seen this sketch!

[info]reebec

March 20 2007, 15:21:43 UTC 5 years ago

Thanks for transcribing it, cause I didn't really understand everything she was saying :)

[info]appsius

March 20 2007, 15:36:14 UTC 5 years ago

Oh thank you very much this is just brilliant :D I'm learning it too, I was already looking for that sonnet in my complete works of Shakespeare yesterday, found it after quite a while *lol* There are three words of which I don't know what they mean, maybe someone can tell me? Ammist, forsooth and liege in:
"Ammist I bovvered forsooth"
"My liege"

[info]hinsoullai

March 20 2007, 18:56:16 UTC 5 years ago

I think liege means a lord [ha, fits doesn't it?] who deserves loyalty. And forsooth means in truth/indeed.. so it's like 'am I bovvered in truth/indeed?' or something. At least that's how I think it's supposed to be translated into.

[info]so_severus

March 20 2007, 19:19:55 UTC 5 years ago

yay! made more text icons :)
thanks for this

[info]gen_who

March 20 2007, 21:15:08 UTC 5 years ago

i'm glad everyone is enjoying it. i know it pretty much off by heart by now! LOL.

Love your icon

[info]so_severus

5 years ago

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[info]davidtenanntmad

March 21 2007, 17:38:48 UTC 5 years ago

Brilliant job :) But because I have issues and actually know people who talk like that (I almost did myself once -_-) can I just point out that they say innit instead of in it? Sorry >.< But still a brill job :)

[info]gen_who

March 21 2007, 20:21:29 UTC 5 years ago

Thanks, i just changed it.

[info]aredhel87

September 17 2007, 10:53:42 UTC 4 years ago

Aww thank you I'm very late XD, I've been looking for the transcription for ages!!!

But I thought she said "Have you parked the TARDIS on the main yard?". e_e'''

Thank you so much!♥

[info]gen_who

September 18 2007, 10:04:24 UTC 4 years ago

no problem, i'm glad to be a help!!

[info]aces_are_rare

September 17 2007, 22:21:38 UTC 4 years ago

This is brilliant. Thank you for transcribing it!!!!!

[info]gen_who

September 18 2007, 10:00:31 UTC 4 years ago

glad to be a help

[info]hlange11

September 19 2007, 05:00:21 UTC 4 years ago

Oh I love that you had that! For like..30 minutes I was sitting here trying to listen through it and writing it down when my friend couldn't understand it at all! Aw, I was almost done and NOW I find this?!?!? Super cool anyways. :)

[info]gen_who

September 19 2007, 12:06:28 UTC 4 years ago

hee hee

Anonymous

4 years ago

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Anonymous

September 1 2008, 00:42:17 UTC 3 years ago

As opposed to "Ammist" wouldn't it be "I missed"?

like "I missed 'I cared'" or "I missed 'I bovvered'"...

[info]gen_who

September 25 2008, 02:06:04 UTC 3 years ago

the sentence would read, 'Am I bovvered?' (Lauren's catchphrase) but because Lauren is making fun of Shakespeare, she adds "ist" to the end of 'Am' making it sound Shakepearian.
"Ammist i bovvered?"

... i suppose it doesn't have to have the double 'm', but I just put that in for emphasis

Anonymous

September 24 2008, 21:17:10 UTC 3 years ago

thanks!!

Thanks SOOOO much for this transcript!
I really loved the David/Catherine video, but when trying to do Italian subs for some friend I got in trouble in some bit. You had ben very helpful! thanks again!

Tan

[info]gen_who

September 25 2008, 02:00:48 UTC 3 years ago

Re: thanks!!

glad to be a help!

Anonymous

December 23 2008, 03:51:03 UTC 3 years ago

you've left out alot..
like
Lauren- Are you the Doctor?

Mr. Logan- Doctor Who?



(All laugh)

its supposed to be

Lauren- Are you the Doctor?

Mr. Logan- Doctor Who?

Lise & Lauren- It is you!

(All laugh)

[info]gen_who

December 23 2008, 11:35:24 UTC 3 years ago

lol, one line is hardly 'alot'.
Thanks for your comment

Anonymous

January 10 2009, 03:44:21 UTC 3 years ago

You rock! Thanks for the transcript. :) For an American like me, some of the lines were hard to catch on first viewing.

Anonymous

January 16 2009, 14:44:15 UTC 3 years ago

funny

yo this is hilarious im John Gedeon and im in a drama class we're using it in a show its hilarious

[info]alannalynn

February 12 2009, 05:13:13 UTC 3 years ago

Ah! Thank you so much for transcribing this! I was trying to figure out exactly what she was saying and just coming up with a blank. haha. Even the transcript gives me laughs. :)

Anonymous

February 27 2009, 19:18:30 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you sooooo much

I'm german and I was amazed how much I could catch. But I wasn't sure about the meaning of this "bovvered" thing :-)
It's awesome to find it here - or brilliant as He would say :-)

[info]scruby

January 14 2010, 20:35:21 UTC 2 years ago Edited:  January 14 2010, 20:51:19 UTC

Thank you!!!
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